Captains Log 288, somewhere between asleep and awake in Orlando, Florida.
(told y'all I'm horrible at blogging. December 2011 was the last entry? Hahahahaaa! Beauty.)
Yesterday we left our cozy, albeit rainy, state to soak up some vitamin D in Orlando! I booked this trip 7 months ago so this day could not have taken any longer to get here. I must admit that my pride of being the worlds best secret keeper stands strong. Not once did I even come close to spilling the magic beans to the girls. Even Matt was impressed. See, when I get a present for someone I cannot WAIT to give it to them, so he figured that keeping this adventure a secret was going to be difficult for me. Psah!
Yesterday was an all travel day and it sure took it out on us. I must have looked pretty haggard because even the flight attendant took pity on my and gave me free drinks. I started to hand him my card and he told me, "Keep it, you look like you really need this." Um, thanks, I think? So 2 rum and cokes later we arrived in Orlando and made it to our hotel. But hotel this is not! It's a freaking mansion! I don't even think my first apartment was this large! The girls were jazzed and asked if we could permanently move here. Sorry, sweet hearts. I cannot stand the constant humidity and soft water. Bleck.
Today we are planning on going to Universal Studios (if the family ever wakes up!) and therefore Harry Potter world. HPW is what Lea is the most excited about. On our second leg of our flight we sat surrounded by a family from the UK. Lea was convinced we were really flying to Hogwarts. She had a million questions for any ear that would listen.
Lately, (read-for the past month) I have had HORRIBLE insomnia. It truly is driving me crazy. I average about 4 hours of sleep a night and then am barely functional during the day. If I had no commitments I would be napping all day every day. But alas, I have to be a grown up. Dumb. Anyhoo, it is currently 7am here which means my brain thinks it's 4am. I went to sleep around my brains 1am so this is just about right. What I fear is that I will not have enough energy to last the day. I'm hoping all the beautiful Florida sun will wake and bake me.
I wish we had the time to go to the races while we're here. I cannot get enough of my F1 lately. TiVO is sure gonna be full when I get home!!! Time to turn on Rush and wait for the fam to awake from their slumber!
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Saturday, December 24, 2011
OH my I'm a horrible blogger! I started this 2 years ago in hopes to keep everyone near and far up to date with what my family is up to. Did I keep up with it? Nope! Golly gee!
Right now I am operating on zero sleep. I don't know why I expected to get any sleep when I hosted a little slumber party for my 7 (well...almost 7) year old. But as long as she's happy and having fun so am I. I did have to grump a bit at 12:30am when the girlies were still awake. Oh and then get this??? 12:30am they fall asleep so they sleep in right? NO! WRONG! EPICALLY WRONG!!! When Matt got up to leave for his gig at the air port at 5:30am the girls thought that was a jolly good time to wake up! Whaaaaa? I think not! But the majority won out.
As I sit typing I'm smelling the lovely aroma of bacon and orange rolls baking. Boy it sure is difficult to wait for the crispy goodness that is my artery clogging meat. The girls keep running by the stove and sniff and groan. I'm a mean Mama when I don't allow them to consume nourishment while I'm baking their breakfast. Yes, call CPS. Having to wait 30 minutes for a warm breakfast is torturing a child.
Well, the timer went off. I will leave this post with a photo of my daughters with Santa this year.
Right now I am operating on zero sleep. I don't know why I expected to get any sleep when I hosted a little slumber party for my 7 (well...almost 7) year old. But as long as she's happy and having fun so am I. I did have to grump a bit at 12:30am when the girlies were still awake. Oh and then get this??? 12:30am they fall asleep so they sleep in right? NO! WRONG! EPICALLY WRONG!!! When Matt got up to leave for his gig at the air port at 5:30am the girls thought that was a jolly good time to wake up! Whaaaaa? I think not! But the majority won out.
As I sit typing I'm smelling the lovely aroma of bacon and orange rolls baking. Boy it sure is difficult to wait for the crispy goodness that is my artery clogging meat. The girls keep running by the stove and sniff and groan. I'm a mean Mama when I don't allow them to consume nourishment while I'm baking their breakfast. Yes, call CPS. Having to wait 30 minutes for a warm breakfast is torturing a child.
Well, the timer went off. I will leave this post with a photo of my daughters with Santa this year.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Oh golly! Has it really been over a year?
I am such a horrible blogger! I never wrote in journals or diaries when I was a kid. I always thought writing in a diary felt too forced. Who was going to read it anyway??? I did enjoy reading my sisters diary though. She hated that. She would write soooo many hate Emily entries just to get me upset. Did it work? Ask my therapist.
My hamster Orlando kept a diary! He was a very good journalist in his 2 long years! Ah I can just see him now...dabbing his little feet in the ink, walking across the page, documenting his daily doings. It probably read something like "Today I woke with a wood chip lodged up my butt. I ate that wood chip. Then I ran off those extra carbs on my wheel. I still wish they would get me a bigger wheel. My man parts prevent me from fitting totally in the wheel. Let's see, oh yes! I then stuffed 25 cheerios in my cheeks. I later regretted that when I tried to snack on them up in my loft and got stuck in the tube. Well, that is all for now. I just finished unstuffing my cheeks and I'm tired now. Must sleep. Fuzzily yours, Orlando."
See! He was a fantastic diary dude! Mine wouldn't have been anywhere near as interesting as that.
Anyway, back to reality. Being a stay at home mom full time now was quite the adjustment. I seriously went through a mourning period when I quit my job. I quit a job that I truly loved, a lot of dear friends completely cut me off... (they didn't even come to say good bye, wow. Talk about true colors, eh?) Sorry, done with my rant. Wait, no I'm not!!! How can someone say they're friends with you, come to your house for parties, have you watch their kiddos when they're in a bind, go shopping, go to dinners, invite you to drinks, text and text and text, gossip with you (and probably about you come to think of it) for FIVE YEARS and then BAM! when you quit your job they go totally frigid and cut you off completely???? I don't get it. Just because I'm not cool like you and don't teach at your little school any more means that you're above me? That you no longer consider me even someone you would smile at? Blah! Screw you!
Ok, now I'm done. Well, for now. From time to time it feels good to rant and rave, right? I mean, those people who keep all their feelings all bottled up inside get so emotionally constipated that they reek of self loathing. (wow! Look at those big words! I should be playing Scrabble! OH! ADD moment, be right back.......)
And I'm back! My previous comment about Scrabble reminded me that I wanted to download the Words With Friends App. :)
Back to being a stay at home Mom. I don't know why I had a full time job for the past 6 years. I missed out on so much great time with my children. Now they're 6 and 4 and both in school. I am enjoying getting to work in their classrooms, going on field trips and even being a Montessori music teacher! I now feel so bad for the kiddos who get dropped off at school at 7am and picked up at 5 pm. I am embarrassed to admit that my daughters used to be those kiddos. Then by the time we got home it was in time for dinner, bath, book and then bed. We never played! Now we get up at 7 and play for over an hour, go to school and then are picked up by 3 and play and eat until 8! Wow! It's like I'm getting a bonus every day.
Anyway, I'm getting long winded today. I should go study my script. I've been working on a production which opens in 2 weeks and I need to get off that dang book!!
Talk at you later!
My hamster Orlando kept a diary! He was a very good journalist in his 2 long years! Ah I can just see him now...dabbing his little feet in the ink, walking across the page, documenting his daily doings. It probably read something like "Today I woke with a wood chip lodged up my butt. I ate that wood chip. Then I ran off those extra carbs on my wheel. I still wish they would get me a bigger wheel. My man parts prevent me from fitting totally in the wheel. Let's see, oh yes! I then stuffed 25 cheerios in my cheeks. I later regretted that when I tried to snack on them up in my loft and got stuck in the tube. Well, that is all for now. I just finished unstuffing my cheeks and I'm tired now. Must sleep. Fuzzily yours, Orlando."
See! He was a fantastic diary dude! Mine wouldn't have been anywhere near as interesting as that.
Anyway, back to reality. Being a stay at home mom full time now was quite the adjustment. I seriously went through a mourning period when I quit my job. I quit a job that I truly loved, a lot of dear friends completely cut me off... (they didn't even come to say good bye, wow. Talk about true colors, eh?) Sorry, done with my rant. Wait, no I'm not!!! How can someone say they're friends with you, come to your house for parties, have you watch their kiddos when they're in a bind, go shopping, go to dinners, invite you to drinks, text and text and text, gossip with you (and probably about you come to think of it) for FIVE YEARS and then BAM! when you quit your job they go totally frigid and cut you off completely???? I don't get it. Just because I'm not cool like you and don't teach at your little school any more means that you're above me? That you no longer consider me even someone you would smile at? Blah! Screw you!
Ok, now I'm done. Well, for now. From time to time it feels good to rant and rave, right? I mean, those people who keep all their feelings all bottled up inside get so emotionally constipated that they reek of self loathing. (wow! Look at those big words! I should be playing Scrabble! OH! ADD moment, be right back.......)
And I'm back! My previous comment about Scrabble reminded me that I wanted to download the Words With Friends App. :)
Back to being a stay at home Mom. I don't know why I had a full time job for the past 6 years. I missed out on so much great time with my children. Now they're 6 and 4 and both in school. I am enjoying getting to work in their classrooms, going on field trips and even being a Montessori music teacher! I now feel so bad for the kiddos who get dropped off at school at 7am and picked up at 5 pm. I am embarrassed to admit that my daughters used to be those kiddos. Then by the time we got home it was in time for dinner, bath, book and then bed. We never played! Now we get up at 7 and play for over an hour, go to school and then are picked up by 3 and play and eat until 8! Wow! It's like I'm getting a bonus every day.
Anyway, I'm getting long winded today. I should go study my script. I've been working on a production which opens in 2 weeks and I need to get off that dang book!!
Talk at you later!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Thus begins the long journey of losing weight...
I have been battling losing weight for 3 years now. I know, that's not very long. Shaddup. In high school I was super skinny and NEVER had to work for it. I always ignored everyone who told me it would catch up eventually. The knew NOTHING!! Well, actually they were right. Dern it!
Yesterday I went next door to a naturopath who put me on a very VERY strict diet for the next 6 weeks. It isn't so bad actually. It's a lot of what I'm already eating but just in smaller portions. Portion control is my problem. Instead of eating the 1 serving of pot stickers I eat 3. I mean come on! 5 pot stickers doth not make 1 serving! Seriously dude!
I have to give myself shots every morning. Hahahahahaaaa! I thought the doctor was crazy!
side note: for those of you who don't know, even the thought of needles makes me dizzy. I cant even look at needles in a movie without grimacing and hiding. Matt thinks it's funny, I do not.
So this morning when I was getting ready to give myself a shot Claire and Lea stood there plugging their ears screaming NOOOOO!!!! NOT a good way to cheer on someone who is needle phobic!
The needles are teeny tiny. Think insulin needles. I don't feel a thing actually. Well, that's a lie. I have to punch the skin I'm poking and I get so freaked out from the shot that I end up squeezing my skin super hard. So I feel the squeeze-read iron death grip on my stomach!
So right now I'm 2 days into the 42. These are the easiest days because I'm supposed to eat like a king and then start my low cal. diet tomorrow. We'll see how I'm feeling in a few days!
Yesterday I went next door to a naturopath who put me on a very VERY strict diet for the next 6 weeks. It isn't so bad actually. It's a lot of what I'm already eating but just in smaller portions. Portion control is my problem. Instead of eating the 1 serving of pot stickers I eat 3. I mean come on! 5 pot stickers doth not make 1 serving! Seriously dude!
I have to give myself shots every morning. Hahahahahaaaa! I thought the doctor was crazy!
side note: for those of you who don't know, even the thought of needles makes me dizzy. I cant even look at needles in a movie without grimacing and hiding. Matt thinks it's funny, I do not.
So this morning when I was getting ready to give myself a shot Claire and Lea stood there plugging their ears screaming NOOOOO!!!! NOT a good way to cheer on someone who is needle phobic!
The needles are teeny tiny. Think insulin needles. I don't feel a thing actually. Well, that's a lie. I have to punch the skin I'm poking and I get so freaked out from the shot that I end up squeezing my skin super hard. So I feel the squeeze-read iron death grip on my stomach!
So right now I'm 2 days into the 42. These are the easiest days because I'm supposed to eat like a king and then start my low cal. diet tomorrow. We'll see how I'm feeling in a few days!
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Boy am I a slacker!
I started this blog 3 months ago. For the 1st few days I did awesome! Blogged about Claire being born and my whole adventure.
*cuing crickets*
Sorry, I'm a horrible "diary" writer. I tried when I was a girl and never really got into it. It felt really lame...Dear Diary: Today Soandso did suchandsuch. Yeah, not my cup of tea.
But...as I sit here watching Lost, sniffing dinner (bacon wrapped roasted chicken. YUM! I rock, I know) and continuously pushing a fat 20lb cat off my arm I figured I'd give this another shot!
For those of you who don't know I put my resignation in. I am going to complete this school year but chose not to come back next year. It was soooo difficult for me to do but with the help (read jerk-headedness) of my principal I chose to be a stay at home mom with Lea next year.
The fact that it took my principal two and a half weeks to come and talk to me after I put in my resignation just proved that he didn't want me there. Seriously! He didn't even say a simple "Hello" in the hallway for 2 and a half weeks!!!! Dude! Come on!
Anyway, I don't need all that drama in my life.
When I get the cable for my camera found I'll start putting pictures onto this thing. I'd love for you all to see pictures of Claire and Lea. They are getting so big!
TTFN!
*cuing crickets*
Sorry, I'm a horrible "diary" writer. I tried when I was a girl and never really got into it. It felt really lame...Dear Diary: Today Soandso did suchandsuch. Yeah, not my cup of tea.
But...as I sit here watching Lost, sniffing dinner (bacon wrapped roasted chicken. YUM! I rock, I know) and continuously pushing a fat 20lb cat off my arm I figured I'd give this another shot!
For those of you who don't know I put my resignation in. I am going to complete this school year but chose not to come back next year. It was soooo difficult for me to do but with the help (read jerk-headedness) of my principal I chose to be a stay at home mom with Lea next year.
The fact that it took my principal two and a half weeks to come and talk to me after I put in my resignation just proved that he didn't want me there. Seriously! He didn't even say a simple "Hello" in the hallway for 2 and a half weeks!!!! Dude! Come on!
Anyway, I don't need all that drama in my life.
When I get the cable for my camera found I'll start putting pictures onto this thing. I'd love for you all to see pictures of Claire and Lea. They are getting so big!
TTFN!
Friday, January 1, 2010
Birthday for Claire Renee!
And the journey continues...
3am-They determine that I can no longer go the natural route and that I must have an epidural. Fine. Fix the pain. I'm exhausted and need a nap. They also decide to give me pitocin to speed things along. Boy, all this work for nothing so far? Good grief! Well, actually I found out that I started to close up a bit so we needed to start back from the beginning. Fan. Tastic.
6am-I am allowed to take a nap now. They gave me meds to mask the contractions. Before I zonk out I ask for them to bring a bed in for Matt. I have never seen that man fall asleep so fast.
10am-We are woken up and said they're going to start pushing pitocin again. They want this baby to come out soon or we're going to have to have a c-section. That is NOT what I want. I must say that 4 hours of sleep felt like I just closed my eyes. Goodness, I cannot believe I'm expected to wake up and work now!
11:30am-I have begun the fun journey of pushing now. The baby can be seen a bit (eew) but it has not budged for quite some time. The doctor even tried vacuum extraction which OUCH! I do not recommend THAT! It popped off the baby's head a few times. I bet if the baby was outside of my stomach it would have slapped our doctor so hard he wouldn't have even known what hit him.
3pm-I have been working for 3 1/5 hours now with no progression. The baby is now in distress and I am exhausted. They talk to me and suggest an emergency c-section. I instantly start freaking out. My sweet nurse Kyra helps me push the morphine drip. Oh baby that stuff is awesome! I don't know why I didn't tap into that earlier! Yum-E!
3:30pm-I am now a very proud Mommy of a purple (but pinking up quickly) little girl named Claire Renee. She is 7lbs 10oz and is 21 inches long. Her head was turned the wrong way so that explains why she wasn't budging in my birthing gear.
Claire has a beautiful head of black hair and little blue eyes. She is very angry we took so long to meet and reminded Matt and myself of this anger for the next 5 days. Once we figured out she was super hungery and gave her some formula (much to my dismay) she was a much happier baby.
She did have to have an EKG because they thought they heard a murmor in her heart. Everything was fine.
Claire did get kicked out of the nursery one night because she was waking up all the other babies with her crazy screaming. Haha! That's my girl! Came out loud and never stopped!
Well, that's my little walk down memory lane. That's for sticking through it. We'll see what else I can blog about later. My creative juices weren't flowing for this last entry so I might give it a break for a bit. :)
3am-They determine that I can no longer go the natural route and that I must have an epidural. Fine. Fix the pain. I'm exhausted and need a nap. They also decide to give me pitocin to speed things along. Boy, all this work for nothing so far? Good grief! Well, actually I found out that I started to close up a bit so we needed to start back from the beginning. Fan. Tastic.
6am-I am allowed to take a nap now. They gave me meds to mask the contractions. Before I zonk out I ask for them to bring a bed in for Matt. I have never seen that man fall asleep so fast.
10am-We are woken up and said they're going to start pushing pitocin again. They want this baby to come out soon or we're going to have to have a c-section. That is NOT what I want. I must say that 4 hours of sleep felt like I just closed my eyes. Goodness, I cannot believe I'm expected to wake up and work now!
11:30am-I have begun the fun journey of pushing now. The baby can be seen a bit (eew) but it has not budged for quite some time. The doctor even tried vacuum extraction which OUCH! I do not recommend THAT! It popped off the baby's head a few times. I bet if the baby was outside of my stomach it would have slapped our doctor so hard he wouldn't have even known what hit him.
3pm-I have been working for 3 1/5 hours now with no progression. The baby is now in distress and I am exhausted. They talk to me and suggest an emergency c-section. I instantly start freaking out. My sweet nurse Kyra helps me push the morphine drip. Oh baby that stuff is awesome! I don't know why I didn't tap into that earlier! Yum-E!
3:30pm-I am now a very proud Mommy of a purple (but pinking up quickly) little girl named Claire Renee. She is 7lbs 10oz and is 21 inches long. Her head was turned the wrong way so that explains why she wasn't budging in my birthing gear.
Claire has a beautiful head of black hair and little blue eyes. She is very angry we took so long to meet and reminded Matt and myself of this anger for the next 5 days. Once we figured out she was super hungery and gave her some formula (much to my dismay) she was a much happier baby.
She did have to have an EKG because they thought they heard a murmor in her heart. Everything was fine.
Claire did get kicked out of the nursery one night because she was waking up all the other babies with her crazy screaming. Haha! That's my girl! Came out loud and never stopped!
Well, that's my little walk down memory lane. That's for sticking through it. We'll see what else I can blog about later. My creative juices weren't flowing for this last entry so I might give it a break for a bit. :)
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Day 2 of a walk down memory lane...
December 31st, 2005-
8am-I moved into the living room so I wouldn't wake up Matt. I had a really restless night of sleep. Franky and Vinny even know to steer clear of me. Good boys.
10am-Matt wakes up and is instantly freaking out. (at least he got a full nights sleep, sheesh.) He calls the hospital and they suggest I eat something and try to take a shower. He makes me a cinnamon-raisin English muffin with peanut butter while I'm trying to take a shower.
Seriously, who in their right mind tells a laboring lady "Go take a shower and eat something. If you don't die in the process you're not in labor." I know I know. I'm a big baby but serously? Shower? Food? My stomach is churning from the life form trying to burst out of it Alien style! I don't need to smell good! Cheese and crackers.
11am-The shower and food don't stop the labor (DUH!) and the nurse requests we head right to the hospital. Matt thinks driving almost 100 is super cool. Between contractions I snap at him and he says "I want to get pulled over so I can tell the cop MY WIFE IS IN LABOR!" I tell him to knock it off and to drive the limit. Sheesh!
1pm-We get to Deaconess Medical Center and some how make it up the elevator (I might have blacked out) and go to the check in desk. The nurse takes her sweet time...
I'd like to take a moment to step out of my cranky in labor mind set and let the readers know that everyone was super nice and helpful. All friendly, smiling and lovely. I was just GOING TO DIE and so everyone's lack of gusto was driving me bonkers. OK, back to the story
...to get to the front desk and says in a sugary sweet voice "Hello! I'm Kyra. How's it going? Are you in labor?" All the while I am bent over hanging onto the front desk for dear life moaning like an elk in heat. "Yes (I say) I do believe I am in labor. Either that or I'm experiencing the worst food poisoning in history and you need to call Guinness Book of Records. Thank you."
I get nicely settled into my corner suite...it is pretty sweet...and I instantly have to go through a million and one questions. Oh no, the ten page packet I already filled out and mailed to the hospital a month ago didn't answer any of the questions I am very politely trying to answer while trying not to throw up on the nurse and bite my husband. (seriously, you'll read later how the nurse made Matt take my pillow away because I was tearing it to shreds with my teeth)
I do convince them I do not want an IV and they allow me free range of the floor. Matt and I patrol the halls and conveniently make it back to my room every time I have a contraction. NO WAY am I going to let other women laboring there take any of my natural birth secrets! (really, I don't want them seeing me acting all weird and crazy like)
3pm-I am off and on soaking in the bath tub. This is nice but when I have a contraction every part of the tub is uncomfortable. And we have to keep draining and refilling the tub because the water was getting too cold.
5pm-I am so freaking tired! Who thought that not getting much sleep the night before and then going through a battle not only for your life but for the life in your tummy would take so much out of you!
The nurse insists that I get an IV. I did not drink enough juice or eat enough jello for her chipper self and now I am getting dehydrated. It took them SEVEN EFFING TRIES to get the IV going. I felt like a pin cushion. And for those of you who know me and my love (read-loathe) for needles you can just imagine how totally radical this experience was for me!
7pm-They insist on breaking my water. Yup, you read that right, my water had yet to have broken and it was just about to get more and more painful. Hooray! I cannot believe I consented to that. My doctor (who was the most gentle person in the whole hospital-and perhaps the most gay heehee) told me that when he broke my water it was going to intensify the contractions. DUDE! They're already intense enough as it is! Fine, do it. BRING. IT. ON.
8pm-WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??? Why did I let them break my water? Holy hamsters! This sucks! But at least now I'm progressing a bit better.
Oh! I neglected to mention earlier that when a contraction would stop I would have a HUGE and very strange hiccup. At first the nurse and Matt thought I was just goofing around but they soon learned that it was beyond my control.
AND...I cannot control the urge to bite Matt whenever I start contracting. I know I know. Try to focus all your energy on birthing the baby and not on gnawing off your husbands arm. What. Ever. After a few nibbles Matt found my pillow for me to chew on. I found a new meaning to cotton mouth.
11pm-Excitment! The nurse and the doctor decide it's time to get this baby out. They get my room ready; called every inturn in the hospital and possibly surrounding county to come witness this amazing birth, got the baby's warming bed ready, told Matt to go pee and asked me if I was ready. Serioulsy? Do I get a choice? Right. Thought so.
11:30pm-After riding his bike from an emergency twin c-section the doctor pops his head in and decides that it's time. Here we go. The nurse is on the phone with the other hospitals saying they're going to win the New Years baby competition. Great, glad I could help you out.
And that is where I will leave it until tomorrow!!!!
8am-I moved into the living room so I wouldn't wake up Matt. I had a really restless night of sleep. Franky and Vinny even know to steer clear of me. Good boys.
10am-Matt wakes up and is instantly freaking out. (at least he got a full nights sleep, sheesh.) He calls the hospital and they suggest I eat something and try to take a shower. He makes me a cinnamon-raisin English muffin with peanut butter while I'm trying to take a shower.
Seriously, who in their right mind tells a laboring lady "Go take a shower and eat something. If you don't die in the process you're not in labor." I know I know. I'm a big baby but serously? Shower? Food? My stomach is churning from the life form trying to burst out of it Alien style! I don't need to smell good! Cheese and crackers.
11am-The shower and food don't stop the labor (DUH!) and the nurse requests we head right to the hospital. Matt thinks driving almost 100 is super cool. Between contractions I snap at him and he says "I want to get pulled over so I can tell the cop MY WIFE IS IN LABOR!" I tell him to knock it off and to drive the limit. Sheesh!
1pm-We get to Deaconess Medical Center and some how make it up the elevator (I might have blacked out) and go to the check in desk. The nurse takes her sweet time...
I'd like to take a moment to step out of my cranky in labor mind set and let the readers know that everyone was super nice and helpful. All friendly, smiling and lovely. I was just GOING TO DIE and so everyone's lack of gusto was driving me bonkers. OK, back to the story
...to get to the front desk and says in a sugary sweet voice "Hello! I'm Kyra. How's it going? Are you in labor?" All the while I am bent over hanging onto the front desk for dear life moaning like an elk in heat. "Yes (I say) I do believe I am in labor. Either that or I'm experiencing the worst food poisoning in history and you need to call Guinness Book of Records. Thank you."
I get nicely settled into my corner suite...it is pretty sweet...and I instantly have to go through a million and one questions. Oh no, the ten page packet I already filled out and mailed to the hospital a month ago didn't answer any of the questions I am very politely trying to answer while trying not to throw up on the nurse and bite my husband. (seriously, you'll read later how the nurse made Matt take my pillow away because I was tearing it to shreds with my teeth)
I do convince them I do not want an IV and they allow me free range of the floor. Matt and I patrol the halls and conveniently make it back to my room every time I have a contraction. NO WAY am I going to let other women laboring there take any of my natural birth secrets! (really, I don't want them seeing me acting all weird and crazy like)
3pm-I am off and on soaking in the bath tub. This is nice but when I have a contraction every part of the tub is uncomfortable. And we have to keep draining and refilling the tub because the water was getting too cold.
5pm-I am so freaking tired! Who thought that not getting much sleep the night before and then going through a battle not only for your life but for the life in your tummy would take so much out of you!
The nurse insists that I get an IV. I did not drink enough juice or eat enough jello for her chipper self and now I am getting dehydrated. It took them SEVEN EFFING TRIES to get the IV going. I felt like a pin cushion. And for those of you who know me and my love (read-loathe) for needles you can just imagine how totally radical this experience was for me!
7pm-They insist on breaking my water. Yup, you read that right, my water had yet to have broken and it was just about to get more and more painful. Hooray! I cannot believe I consented to that. My doctor (who was the most gentle person in the whole hospital-and perhaps the most gay heehee) told me that when he broke my water it was going to intensify the contractions. DUDE! They're already intense enough as it is! Fine, do it. BRING. IT. ON.
8pm-WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??? Why did I let them break my water? Holy hamsters! This sucks! But at least now I'm progressing a bit better.
Oh! I neglected to mention earlier that when a contraction would stop I would have a HUGE and very strange hiccup. At first the nurse and Matt thought I was just goofing around but they soon learned that it was beyond my control.
AND...I cannot control the urge to bite Matt whenever I start contracting. I know I know. Try to focus all your energy on birthing the baby and not on gnawing off your husbands arm. What. Ever. After a few nibbles Matt found my pillow for me to chew on. I found a new meaning to cotton mouth.
11pm-Excitment! The nurse and the doctor decide it's time to get this baby out. They get my room ready; called every inturn in the hospital and possibly surrounding county to come witness this amazing birth, got the baby's warming bed ready, told Matt to go pee and asked me if I was ready. Serioulsy? Do I get a choice? Right. Thought so.
11:30pm-After riding his bike from an emergency twin c-section the doctor pops his head in and decides that it's time. Here we go. The nurse is on the phone with the other hospitals saying they're going to win the New Years baby competition. Great, glad I could help you out.
And that is where I will leave it until tomorrow!!!!
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